Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize