My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
