I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
