didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
