I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
