I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
