then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
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