Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
