i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize