whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
she was so not down for the gang bang
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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