He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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