what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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