i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
