Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Someone shattered a urinal.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
He has the fingertips of a God
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