Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
