It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
