why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
