I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize