What a fucking waste of an outfit
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
