It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
