she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
