So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
