Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
