All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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