omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
