Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
