Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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