Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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