I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
This is my gift to your gina
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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