I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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