We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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