i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
