You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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