Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
