I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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