So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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