nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
