at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
