i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
it's great music for shaving your balls
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
