then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
