so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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