i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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