She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
i now understand why vodka
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
