when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
