I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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