i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
