nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just pynch a tree in the face
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
