Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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