are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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