She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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