U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
