Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
