So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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