are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
