trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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