please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
