Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
