marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
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