one two three fourrrrnication!
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I need a beard to bite.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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