marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
