so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
