So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize