I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
