I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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