Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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