don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
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