dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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