Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
