So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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