i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
