Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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